i need patience

I need to gain some patience. Actually that's probably not quite accurate. I went about this management thing wrong in the beginning. I'm friends with my group. Now, that's not at all a bad thing, and I'm glad that I am, but sometimes it completely bites me.

I am a person that gets deadlines and wants to make them. That's normal I think. I also realize though, that in this department our deadlines are insane! A lot of the time, they just aren't possible. The problem is, most of my group doesn't seem to care. They work, until something more fun comes around and then they slack off. They don't understand, or maybe they do, that regardless of whether they work or not, I have to meet these deadlines. I am responsible whether my team comes through or not. That sucks.

It's not all of them. There is one that works and works and works, and although it's not always perfect, it is definitely appreciated. I just wish that this could always be an entire group effort. I know that they are just mad that we have so much to do, and we really need a break, but these are our jobs. We don't have to like them.

Someone once said, well, if we don't make it on time they'll realize that they have to give us more time. Let me tell you, no they won't. And the only one that it hurts is me. Because then I have to come in on the weekends and work late, and when review time comes around I get points deducted because we didn't hit deadlines for the year, and some of them make more than I do anyway which really hits hard. I don't do that to my team, I just take the responsibility because that's my job. And I hate it.